


Letters

by Kufufufu117



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:28:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25220125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kufufufu117/pseuds/Kufufufu117
Summary: “You don’t have to know what’s inside the letters as long as I’m here beside you.”
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	Letters

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be based on the Hamilton song burn but I didn’t want to make Kuroo to a cheat so instead I used only a few bits of the song and changed up bits of the lyrics to fit the story.

It was a hot summer afternoon , the sun was bright and the news had announced that the heat was going to be 45 degrees and with people bustling around the city the heat could probably go higher. But in contrast to that hot summer heat inside one of the apartments the air was cold and the silence was deafening.

Tsukishima sat on Kenma’s bed surrounded by letters that he found inside the small drawer of the study table. And all of which were neatly sealed and addressed to him.

  
  


***

  
  


_“Tsukki! I know, cheesy right? But I want to give this to you. It’s a letter that you cannot read. At least not of this moment.” Kuroo said._

_It was the third day of the Tokyo training camp and in the past two days, Tsukishima had taken notice of Nekoma’s captain. Not because he liked the dark haired male, no. Rather it was due to the fact that the captain of their rival team has been making moves on him._

_“What’s the point of giving it to me when you won’t allow me to read it anyway?” Tsukishima asked, holding the small baby pink envelope between his fingers._

_“Well that’s for me to know and for you to find out”_

***

_I saved every letter you gave me._

  
  
  


I kept my promise and never opened any of it. I remember the days you gave me those letters vividly. I remember how your eyes would look after you hand me another sealed envelope. The sadness and pain inside those beautiful hazel eyes I love were unbearable to watch. It was even more painful to see you force a smile afterwards. 

  
  
  


_From the moment I got them, I thought you would be mine_

  
  


And I was, for a while. 

***

_The love story of two highschool students who met coincidentally through training camps and practice matches, and eventually fell inlove with each other after that one summer night inside the third gymnasium of Shinzen High._

_But not all love stories had happy endings._

  
  


_Miyagi and Tokyo were almost 400km apart but both Tsukishima and Kuroo did their best to maintain a happy and balanced relationship even with the distance between them._

_Tsukki: [16:43 Goodluck on your game today. Always rooting for you.]_

_Kuroo: [16:52 Thank you moonbeam.]_

_Kuroo: [16:53 Wishing you luck on your finals!! I love you!!]_

_Tsukki: [16:55 I love you too..]_

  
  


***

_You told them about your disease. You told everyone except me._

  
  


Five letters. You gave me five letter throughout our relationship. After the fifth letter you left and broke up with me. Leaving me confused about the entire situation.

How could I not be, you broke up with me after our match and that was the last time that I saw you.

At first I thought it was because you began dating Kenma. Honestly who wouldn’t think of that, it was a conventional decision. You’ve known each other for years and we only just began dating after training camp ended. 

I was hurt but I had to fight the pain and act as if it never happened. After all nationals were still on going, it would’ve been a bummer if I let a simple heartbreak ruin the flow of our game.

  
  


It wasn’t until two years later that I found out the truth behind the reason why you broke up with me.

_“Tsukishima..? Right?”_

_Tsukishima turned his head towards the voice that called him. It was graduation day so a lot of people were in their school mostly parents or relatives, and some were lovers. So when Tsukishima turned his head he was met by someone unexpected._

_“Kozume-san. What are you doing here?” Tsukishima asked, surprised to see his ex-boyfriend’s best friend in their school._

_“Kuroo left something for you. He told me to give it to you after your graduation.”_

_“Left? Did he go abroad or something?”_

_“Shouyou didn’t tell you? Not even the freckled boy?”_

_Tsukishima was confused, Hinata knew something he didn’t? And Yamaguchi also knew it?_

_“Tell me what exactly?” As the word fell from his lips, his heart began to beat at an erratic pace and he could feel knots form in his stomach._

_“Kuro died. Shouyou and the rest of your team went to his funeral.”_

_Tsukishima felt the world stop as he heard Kenma speak. That was a joke right, Kuroo can’t really be dead. He was strong and he never looked weak._

_“Y-you’re lying. He’s not dead right? You’re saying this because he got married right?”_

_“No. He died. Two months after we lost to you guys at nationals.”_

_Everything went black after those words left Kenma’s mouth. He didn’t know what happened just that everyone suddenly surrounded him and next thing he knew he woke up in a hospital bed._

_“You scared us.” Akiteru began, “Mom got worried. You haven’t been eating have you?” Akiteru continued, but Tsukishima remained silent. Kenma’s words were still echoing in his mind and he can’t seem to grasp the idea of Kuroo’s death._

_“Nii-chan. Did Kozume-san give you something?” Tsukishima asked, his eyes were blank and empty. “Oh yeah.” Akiteru took something from his pocket and handed it to Kei._

_A small envelope slightly crumpled and opened was placed in front of him. “I kinda opened it. I didn’t read it but there is a key inside.”_

_Tsukishima nodded and opened the envelope that was now on his hands. The five letters that Kuroo gave was still on his desk drawer and the first letter he was going to read was the one given by Kenma._

_“Hey, Tsukki_

_Congratulations! You’ve graduated. Since you’ve read this, it probably means that it’s long since I’ve passed and you probably got this from Kenma._

_Sorry I left you so suddenly, I was afraid to tell you. Rather I was afraid of accepting the truth that I was going to die soon._

_Especially after our match. I didn’t want to break up with you but the day before our match I went to the doctor and he said that I have approximately around 5 months to live. Well it was a lie as soon as the match ended and we said our goodbyes. I fainted on the way to the locker rooms and was rushed to the hospital._

_Kenma wanted to call you but I stopped him. So instead he called Sawamura who found out about my condition from Kenma. He also wanted to tell you but again I said no. I promised them that I’d be the one to tell you. So I wrote this._

_And remember the five letters I gave you? All of those were goodbye letters that’s why I didn’t want you to open them while I was still beside you. Since it would defeat the purpose of the letters inside._

_Anyways you can read those now, if you haven’t already read them._

_Right before I end this letter there’s a key in here with this letter._

_Don’t worry it’s nothing big it’s just the key to my bottom desk drawer. I left something for you there. Something much more important than this letter I asked Kenma to give you._

_Tsukki I love you, so please take care of yourself. Stop skipping meals and eat properly. I want you to stay healthy and happy for a long time._

_This might be my real goodbye because I’ve heard the doctors say that my condition has gotten worse each day and I don’t want to make Dad struggle even more. So when my heart stops beating again, I might ask them to not revive me anymore._

_I’m pretty happy with the 18 years that I’ve lived my life. I met you and I got the chance to love you so what more can I ask for right?_

_Goodbye Tsukki I love you._

_Kuroo.”_

_Tears were streaming down Tsukishima’s face and all he could do was hold the paper tighter in his hands. It finally sank that Kuroo was indeed gone and he would never return._

_After he was discharged the first thing he did when he got home was open all the letters Kuroo gave. He spent his entire week locked up in his room reading all the letters Kuroo gave._

_And the week after that he went to Tokyo and met with Kenma who then brought him to his apartment._

  
  


***

“I’ll be in the living room if you need me.” Kenma says closing the door of the bedroom. “You can stay as long as you want. By the way.”

Tsukishima nodded and looked at all the letters he found, all looked similar to the first one he received. A small pink envelope and was neatly sealed, that if someone saw it they would think a girl wrote them. 

But in the midst of all the pink envelopes, the one that caught his eyes was the only white envelope amongst the rest. I wasn’t really an envelope more of a hastily folded paper.

_“Tsukki._

_Hey. I had another cardiac arrest. I know I already wrote you a letter saying I won’t ask for resuscitation if my heart stops again but dad wouldn’t agree._

_You know I miss you. Kenma has been visiting and so has your freckled friend, Yamagishi? Yamagatchi? Yamaguchi? I can’t really remember his name, but he told me you were doing fine. And somehow I feel pathetic for looking so weak when people would visit me._

_Akaashi and Bokuto also visit me by the way, sometimes Hinata would tag along but whenever he visits he keeps asking if he could vring you with him. And I can’t help but feel guilty that I hid things from you._

_I know it was just seven months but I really did love you. And thanks to that seven months I was able to fight this damned disease for a little while longer._

_But you know Tsukki as I write this my eyes are starting to tire and my muscles are beginning to drop. I could also feel my heart slow it’s beating. I guess this must really be goodbye._

_Hey Kenma if you see this fold it up nicely and put it inside my desk drawer. Its locked so just slip it in that small space between the top and bottom drawers. Also tell Tsukki that I miss him and that I want to see him._

_Kuroo.”_

  
  


“He asked me to keep that desk drawer of his so you could get those.” Kenma spoke, the door to the room was now opened the lights from the living room spilled in the now dark room.

Tsukishima wouldn’t have notice that it was already past seven, if Kenma didn’t open the door. 

“S-sorry I didn’t notice the time.” Tsukishima sniffled. 

“Hey it’s fine. You know when I visited him that day, I thought he was only asleep because he had a smile on his face when I got in his room. It wasn’t until an hour later that I noticed he wasn’t breathing.” Kenma said head tilted to the floor.

“After that the nurses sent out a codeblue signal. I didn’t understand much of it but I called his dad when they arrived he was gone. I called Shouyou an hour after that and I guess he told Sawamura-kun.” Kenma continued.

“Why didn’t they tell me?” Tsukishima asked though he already knew the answer his read it over a dozen times and cried over the same letters again and again.

“I guess they made an unwritten rule about not saying anything to you. After all knowing Kuro he didn’t want you to feel too much pain after he passed.” 

“But you know I think the reason was he thought that it would be better if you were hurt from the break up instead. He really did love you Tsukishima.” Kenma stated his voice shaking a little.

“You know after the first practice match between Karasuno and our school he was very very happy. Happier than he had been in a while. He was like a brother to me so I noticed the change you brought to him.” 

“Kozume-san. When was he diagnosed?” Tsukishima asked, he read all the letters but Kuroo never really mentioned what disease he was suffering from. He only said vague details about his disease. Like how he was bedridden and how he would often get cardiac arrests or faint after overworking himself.

“8. He was 8 when he got diagnosed with Duchenne. After they moved to our neighborhood both our parents got close and his dad told us about his disease. He said that his muscle weakness was slower than other the other paitents diagnosed with the disease but his heart was weak. Then by the time he was 15 he would often get cardiac arrest at the most random times. Sometimes while training, sometimes even if he was only sitting in class. He was supposed to quit volleyball after the practice match against Karasuno because his body couldn’t take it anymore. But on our way back to Tokyo he said he found a new reason to live and he said it was you.”

Tsukishima’s continued to flow out of his eyes, his sniffles turned to sobs and all he could do was hug the last letter to his chest. 

_I read all the letter you wrote me_

_And the moment I read them_

_I knew you were gone_

_You said you were gone._

**Author's Note:**

> ANYWAYSSSS THIS IS MY WELCOME BACK KUROO UPDATE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 401 just got released and Kuroo had just returned and I already killed him HAHAHAHAAHAHA anyways I still cant believe hq is ending next week Imma cry myself in the corner of my room now


End file.
